Four Years Of Physical Assault, Fear, Suffering, Tears And Death Threats” — Nigerian Woman Shares Harrowing Story As She Leaves Her ‘Abusive’ Marriage
Here’s a corrected and properly arranged version of the post:
Queenny Ogechukwu’s Post on Leaving an Abusive Marriage:
Yesterday, 4th April 2025, I mustered the courage to leave an abusive marriage—again. I’m broke, scared, and uncertain about what the future holds for me, but right now, I can’t think of anything more terrifying than living with a man who thinks it’s okay to pour hot tea on my face because he’s angry. A man who thinks it’s okay to choke me so tightly that his fingers dig into my skin and leave a mark—just because I’m “rebellious” (according to him). A man who threatened to kill me and go to jail but said, “I will make sure you’re not alive to see me going to jail.” A man who slaps me and throws weapons at me just because he’s angry or there’s a disagreement.
A man who locks me out at the slightest provocation. A man who beats me in public—even when I’m carrying a sick baby.
I’m leaving while I still have a shred of self-esteem left. I don’t want to reach the point where I feel it’s okay for my husband to “beat me into being submissive,” where I believe I deserve to be physically assaulted because I did something wrong. There is no justification for why my husband would beat me, slap me, push me, seize my phone, or lock me outside. He gets annoyed with me, yet I don’t do that to him. So why is it okay for him to do it to me, for any reason?
Read Also: I Mourned Like a Wife, But He Married Someone Else—Now What
Four years of emotional abuse and physical assault. Four years of fear, suffering, tears, and embarrassment.
I have become so paranoid that my heart skips a beat when I see him. I don’t know when the next slap or punch will land on me. I’m constantly running in my mind because I don’t feel safe. This is no way to live.
I’m not perfect, but if I have so much bad character that you can’t tolerate or manage, isn’t it better to let me go? Yet he won’t. Each time I try to leave, he begs and recruits people to beg me, but when I come back, he acts nice for two months before returning to his default behaviour. He keeps me running in circles, both physically and mentally.
I need to leave for my sanity. I have become a shadow of myself, and every day I slip further into trauma. I may not have loved myself enough to marry this man—because he was assaulting me during our relationship—but I still went ahead with the marriage because I was so scared of what people would say. But I love my kids enough to keep them away from a father who doesn’t mind beating their mother in front of them. I’m tired of waiting, praying, and hoping for him to change.
Anyone who feels the need to mock me, feel free, but it’s better to be alive and face mockery than to be dead and see eulogies written about me with “R.I.P.” typed beside my name.
I’m sorry to my family and his family, who will find out about this here, but I needed to do this for posterity’s sake and to solidify my willpower. I hope and pray for myself that I can muster the courage to not bow to any of his manipulations and return to him this time around.
Many people will feel insulted and disappointed that I’ve brought this to the public, but I want to say that if your intention is to advise me to go back and make peace with this man, you are officially my enemy. The only time your disappointment is valid to me is if you intend to help me stand up to this man and make him leave me alone, because he’s obviously going to come after me and may try to take my kids.
Offorbuike Ernest Ogbuyeme, I have only one thing to ask of you: Leave me alone!
Of course, I will do this the right and legal way by going to my family and having them dissolve the marriage so we can co-parent in peace—if you’re capable of doing that, though, because you hardly ever act diplomatically. But for now, let me put this out here, because keeping it private has done me no good so far.
